No Baby

I'd like to crawl in a hole right now. Just complete isolation until I have the baby. Well that's not completely true- I really enjoy the company of Hannah and Noah. No pressure just sweet kids who enjoy cuddling and reading to me, and love the simplest of surprises like fresh strawberries in their lunch.

It's been a rough week. But it shouldn't be.

Saturday night we had contractions into the morning- we called my parents to come over and hang out with us while I labored. I labored all day at home until Jared made me go to the hospital. I tried to explain they weren't transitional labor contractions yet. Though they were regular I could still function just fine. We went to the hospital anyway, spent three hours in triage where though my contractions went from 2-4 minutes apart then increased to 45 seconds apart until they subsided and didn't dilate my cervix any more. Still at a 5 and 80% effaced.

Had an appointment yesterday where the NP said she couldn't believe they didn't keep me and break my water. Jared agreed. I'm at a 6 now and 80%. She feels like the baby will drop and come right out.

Which is slightly concerning, especially for Jared. I feel so bad for him. I would like to just let things happen let my body do the work the way it knows how. I'm sure I don't have membranes of steel. I don't think I want to deliver in the car though either.

I keep trying to relax and enjoy this time, appreciating my bodies ability to do so much work without discomfort and allow me lots of rest time in between nights. Thank you body. I keep feeling like if I were just having this baby at home it sure would relieve a lot of stress.

Most of the frustration stems from feeling like I'm not doing enough to get baby here in a convenient time frame. Jared had his patients this week rescheduled after our little hospital visit. Now when I wake up in the morning I feel the pressure on. Am I having contractions? Are they strong? Well not really. On one hand it's nice to have your husband think you have an amazing pain tolerance on the other hand I know what I'm feeling, or should I say what I'm not feeling- on the other hand I can totally understand Jared's position.

So-no baby yet, the clock is ticking, soon I'm sure we will have news soon.

I just love anticipation...

It's been a funny two weeks. I have learned 4cm and 60% effaced means nothing...Nothing but a freakish ability to stay on top of laundry, dishes, dusting, mopping, cabinet oiling, baseboard washing, freezer and pantry packing. Our food storage is better than ever.

Fun stuff this week: Kids are on spring break, and fortunately find washing the cabinets and swiffering the floor "fun" stuff. They're so awesome. :) My dad gave us a ton of maple cabinets that we have since installed in our garage. Love them!!! Love organizing them!!!

Yesterday contractions woke me up at about 2:30am, lasted for about an hour or so- in which Jared and I did a load of laundry, made our bed up for the lucky person we may be calling at the wee hour- then went back to bed as the contractions subsided. Well, I went back to bed Jared stayed up and finished an online medical education thing and went back to bed around 5:00am. Poor guy. Woke up at 7:00am to more contractions-called Dr at 8:30am to only be referred to hospital triage.

I didn't want to go to the hospital yet-I just wanted the Dr. to check me out-so I proceeded to cry, then got it together, told Jared to go to work- I would call him once I figured out where I was. I drove to the hospital where I learned I would be charged $300 if I didn't get admitted after they poked and prodded me so I decided to leave and pay my Dr. a visit. $300 is a pretty nice post baby wardrobe, besides I have already payed my Dr. alot of money to take care of my prenatal and delivery care. Hmmm poked and prodded for three hours- nice shopping trip after baby... I was able to be seen at my Dr. office and learned that I am now at a 5 and 70% effaced- but not ready to be admitted to the hospital.

Came home took a nap, cleaned the garage, played outside with the kids, made dinner and slept like a baby all night long, awaking this morning feeling great with no contractions at all.

Hmmm. The body is truly an amazing thing. I usually feel so in tune. I feel like I'm totally out of the picture on this one. My body and baby are making there own plans which apparently include keeping me in the dark and in total suspense :) Poor Jared, every morning and evening he looks at me with such a hopeful expression as he says "Let's have this baby." It's almost enough for me to induce. Almost.

Well, I'm off to dust some bookshelves. The kids are playing Cooking Mama on the Wii. Hopefully the next post will have some fun pictures of our expanded family. :)

Waiting Waiting Waiting

Hmmm, I know if I take castor oil I will go into labor. Do I want to go into labor? Do I want to actively choose to go into labor? What difference does it make if I do it spontaneously or if I help it along a little- same result , labor=baby. Ohhhhhhh, I just don't know what to do.

I gave a talk today in church today. I was asked to speak along with the wives of the Bishop and First counselor. That was slightly nerve racking-not enough to send me into serious labor though. My specific topic was about teaching in the home. I really ended up bearing more of a testimony on the subject based on a talk given by Pres. Hinckley. I spoke of all the amazing home classrooms that have helped to guide me and help form my own families traditions and spiritual learning in our home. Many of those classrooms have taken place since Jared and I have been married. I have watched as my sister in laws and friends have ran FHE, have counseled their children, have made holidays fun and spirit filled. I have watched you manage many children for scripture study and family prayer. While you have been shaping your own posterity you have also helped to shape mine. Thank You.

My joy in life is my family-my opportunity to stay home, teach my children, and spend my days loving and watching them grow is the third greatest gift I have ever been given. The first being the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the second being Jared who has afforded me the third, and is the most amazing husband. most amazing man I have ever known. I know what treasures I've been given and hope that I never squander them.

OH BABY!!!

I had my Dr. Apt today and while I was fully prepared to hear I wasn't dilated yet, and hoping I would hear I was at least at a 1 or 2, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when he told me I was at a 4 and 60% effaced. REALLY! WOW!!!!!!!!!! I'm pretty excited about that. I'm ecstatic!!!! I can't wait until she is here-and the fact there is a high probability she will be here soon is just AWESOME, WONDERFUL, FANTASTIC, AMAZING. I'm so happy, I think I'll cry.... It's like getting the best present ever early.

I bought diapers and nursing pads Tuesday, haven't gotten the car detailed yet though-we were going to do that this Saturday. Ugh, I really need to wash the floors. I'm making Danettes broccoli and chicken tonight-maybe I should make an extra batch... I wonder if my water will break this time-a new experience would be fun. Oh I can't wait!!!!

It's really hard keeping that little thunder cloud away that says, Hold on...your not in the clear yet. Something dreadful may be looming ahead. I just want to be happy and excited. Go away cloud, I don't want to think about awful possibilities. If they come I'll deal with them, but until then I want to expect the best. Now I've gone and gotten myself all worked up.

Okay-I think I'm better now.

On a different note-I took pictures of a family in our ward yesterday. Their son got his mission call to Bulgaria.

His cute niece and nephew

This is the tree I'm willing to throw down for....

This is me and my pregnant belly.

Ohh Dear...

Well, I totally fell on Saturday. Luckily not on my stomach. My ankle rolled off the sidewalk when Amy and I were taking the kids for a walk to the park. I was carrying a camp chair so that buffered the fall a little- I was laughing hysterically after it happened. Laughing then crying-then laughing some more-refusing a helping hand-because you know-I was perfectly capable of getting up myself. I can be so obnoxious. Poor Amy she was really worried-I tried to convince her I was fine just slightly humiliated being a big pregnant lady rolling around on the side walk. I have two huge bruises on my leg and my arms and shoulders are a little tweaked. My humiliation soon turned to frustration thinking how great this pregnancy has been and how I had better not have messed it up by falling because I chose to wear platform flip flops rather than my tennis shoes. I can honestly say that the novelty of pregnancy has disappeared. My balance is off, the cashier at walmart asked if I was having twins, several well meaning older sisters in our ward made the "your about to pop" comment-which I smiled to and replied "I hope so..."

I'm feeling slightly aggressive too. I had a dream last night that some woman was chopping down my Texas Laurel tree and I started swearing at her and slapping her. A crowd gathered and a medic helicopter flew in and the medic told me I had to be checked out in a psychiatric ward and if I was okay I wouldn't have to pay for the helicopter ride if I agreed to a weekend anger management class. Weird. Now I will say I do LOVE my Texas Laurel Tree-and it's in full bloom right now beautiful purple flowers that smell like grape bubble gum. I love this tree and seeing someone hack it down would evoke much anger-but I was worse than a sailor-and the hair pulling and slapping were really uncalled for. I was relieved when I woke up and felt like my rational self thinking- No, No I would never do something like that. Right? Not to mention I never thought I'd be the hair pulling, slapping, potty mouth type. Just one good punch should have gotten the point across. My arms are sore though and slapping requires less muscle I would think.

Though, I have to say I did wake up feeling energized and ready to take on the world this morning. :)

Do ya get it? Do ya?

This is what has been echoing off the walls of our home and car, grocery store, chapel etc... Hannah is officially in the riddle stage. What month has more than 28 days in it? If a rooster were to lay an egg on a pitched roof which way would it roll? How many birthdays will you have? It's actually pretty cute- especially when she's explaining the answer to Noah. The entire ride to church yesterday revolved around how many days were in every month-thus the answer to the first riddle.

Hannah: Do you get it now?
Noah:Oh yea....
Hannah:Do you really get it?
Noah: Yea I get it!

Jared remembered realizing as an adult how great it was for his Mom to laugh every time he came home with a new joke- seeing as how it was at least the seventh time she had heard it. But she made it seem as though he was the first to come up with such cleverness. Moms are so great!