Saturday, September 27, 2008

Dreaming Through Life

Do you ever feel like your day isn't really a day, but rather an odd dream that drags on forever and leaves you feeling like you can't distinguish reality. No? Huh- I suspected it was probably just me. If you can relate I'd love to not feel so alone in this. I have had several examples of this throughout my life- where memories and dreams seem to collide. My earliest memory that left me with that feeling was when I was a little girl. My stepfather at that time and I saw a meteorite falling out of the sky. We followed it and found a glowing giant jack in someones front yard. I'm certain this was dream...but it is such a vivid memory.

More recently when Jared and I were diving in Hawaii I was momentarily separated from the group and Jared. I had stopped and turned to look into the vast blue nothingness to find a huge fish-(maybe a dolphin-it was BIG) just suspended in 40 ft of water 100 yard from where I was, just watching me. I wanted to swim towards it, to get a better look but knew I could easily become disoriented, find myself deeper than I should be and be further behind the group. I of course swam ahead to find Jared. My sense of survival always takes precedence over curiosity. That experience was so dream like-but I know it was real, unless I was hallucinating due to bad oxygen...

Well Friday morning began with an odd dream of my maternal grandparents. I won't go into details-but it was really nice to see them again. I miss them. The morning caught me full of emotion-crying over the American Girl series, Hannah and Noah's love for reading, the synopsis of Girl from the Limberlost, everything was getting me misty. After running a few errands (which included checking out a tripod from the photo lab and being visually assaulted by pictures of older women's bosoms), I met Jared for lunch. He took me to this little Mexican Cafe where I had to choke back tears every time this older woman came by and called me hun or sweetie and affectionately squeezed my shoulder. I'm so glad she didn't call me mi hija or I would have just lost it. I had a reception shoot later that afternoon and I just kept thinking I have got to get my emotions under control. Agh! I had a good hormonal cry on the way home while I used all self restraint to not drink the pint of salsa that I had bought from the cafe. The cry seemed to fix me right up. Amazing how that physical release is like an emotional reset button.


So the afternoon came and as dusk approached I was off to take pictures at a reception. From 5-9 I took pictures, enough to burn through 4GB of memory. I came home fell asleep on the couch with Jared and woke up this morning wondering if yesterday had really happened at all.




Yep, I have the pictures to prove it...



2 comments:

Emili said...

I love your pictures - stunning! There have been times in my dreams where they are so real that I swear I'm awake, but I don't know if I've ever had it the other way around... I'll have to ponder it for a while and see if anything comes back to me.

dhillman said...

The pictures look great--I am sure you will have another happy customer!